Pace yourself and monitor yourself, folks. I just experienced having the emotional “starch” being taken out of me this morning, and it wasn’t anything big that did it. (Note: I am good, I just was reminded how we need to be mindful and aware of our emotional load.)
Sundays are usually a full day for me, as I pastor a church with my husband. It’s not just the time commitment that make it full, but the emotional involvement of caring for people that we love as well. When they rejoice and celebrate in their lives, we do too; and when they go through, we go through alongside them for support.
So, by choice, I usually power down on Mondays…I have to. I need time and space to reset and refill. I try to do only what I need to, and I leave the more intense stuff that I need to get accomplished for Tuesday through Friday.
Except for today.
I made the mistake of hitting the ground running this morning and getting a set of important errands run. I thought that I was good and that I could push myself.
Nope….a bit of a mistake.
I got home and realized that I was more spent than I thought. I sat quietly at my laptop and checked my email. I still thought I was good until my sweet, intuitive 21 year-old daughter asked me if I was okay. When I gave her a half-hearted “yeah”, she followed it up with, “Got a lot going on?” And that was all it took.
I broke down and just sobbed for a moment. She kindly offered her help (as she often does) in making me a salad for lunch, and I took her up on her offer. I then was able to get myself together. We proceeded to work in the kitchen as she assembled my salad for me.
And as I ate my lunch, I realized a couple of things that made me want to write it down and share:
- Emotions can be tricky. What I felt kind of snuck up on me, but also it didn’t. I should have realized that something was a little off kilter when my hubby called and I really didn’t want to be too bothered with talking to him at that moment. That should have been a small red flag for me because I really do enjoy talking with Art!
- We must be more aware of the emotional loads that we carry. I have navigated a lot in both my personal life and in the lives of those around me in the past month. And I have learned that those things will affect me in some way – I don’t need to be ignorant of that. I can be proactive in these times by considering ways to mitigate the effects on my emotional health. Building in times to refresh and recharge is not a luxury but a necessity.
- It is quite alright to back up for a moment and care for yourself, no guilt necessary. Yup, I decided that certain things are off the table for the rest of the day: deep conversations, any major decisions, etc. And that I’m going to give myself time to rest and laugh – for my wellbeing.
Have you been/are you there in that place of needing to be refilled? I would love to talk about it here in the comments below. It’s always helpful to know that we are in this together and that we might be able to help each other through 🙂